Thursday, July 9, 2009


Alright, let's do this. If you haven't seen it (which you probably
haven't since it is playing in like seven cities...) this might be
spoiler-tastic, but the general idea is already out there in the
trailer and most reviews I have seen, so fuck it.

Before I ruin Christmas, I will say that the way trailers are handled
is pretty fucked these days. A lot of times MAJOR plot points are
right there in the two minutes that they show you to get your ass in
the seat. I really think Terminator Salvation would have been better
if everyone didn't already know Marcus(?, that was dude's name,
right?...) was Terminator-riffic. I guess that hand had been played
after dude woke up 20 years later. I really wonder how much of the
good stuff in District 9 has been shown in the trailer that came our
this week. I kinda liked the idea of oppressed pacifist aliens, and
having them grow a pair and get in the policy driver's seat would have
been a nice (totally obvious) surprise. Now I just want to see 90
minutes of junkyard aliens ripping up South Africa, like most of my
movie pitches (which are a whole 'nother post right there, but I know
you fuckers would steal 'em...).

Alright, Moon. Good flick, not what I was expecting 100%, but still
good. Before I get into it, the theatre was a new one for me, more of
a indie theater, which has some history behind it and a cool vibe. I
have always been down with the more arty places. My favorites over the
years have included the Micro in Moscow, Idaho (not really 'arty' but
definitely had a rad vibe. I hope that place is still around...) and
Ragtag Cinema Cafe in Columbia, Missouri (beer and movies like Blue
Velvet, Shadow of the Vampire, and the Cremaster Cycle? Fuckin'
genius...). If you have the chance check 'em out. Those types of
places need the $10 more than some stockholders.

Got settled in, and despite the likelihood of them ruining a potential
future viewing experience, was pretty excited to see what trailers
would run before the feature. Aside from a trailer for It Might Get
Loud (cool idea, but The Edge? I would rather have seen someone else.
U2 doesn't really strike me as a band known for it's Hott Lixx...), it
seems like indie movie-land is a depressing-ass place to be. I am sure
their hearts are in the right place, but fucking a, they seemed like
they were indie because there was no way in hell they would fill a
megaplex screen (am I on to something?...). Which is a sad state of
affairs as I am sure their depressing-ass tales have more to say than
90 Minutes of Monkies Farting, which will make $100 million in the
first weekend.

Alright, time to talk about the movie.

Is it bad that I wanted to see more about the future? How does
Helium-3 work? I guess that is what the webernets is for... Also, I am
sure that dude's demise was probably meaningful on it's own, but I
wonder about the cause. Was it something to do with the inherent
instability of the clones (difference in personalities being the main
thing you really are exposed to), giving more weight to the attitude
of disposability by the corporation? Could have just been cosmic
radiation as well. Three years, no atmosphere, probably more likely
you would be barfing blood and teeth (spoilers) than being all
stretchy or covered in orange rocks (though the Fantastic Four take a
darker turn if you think of the Thing as a giant walking tumor). I
doubt that trying to create more interest in future Lunar and Mars
missions would be well-served by a movie touting 'live on the moon for
three years and then die a horrible fucking death.'

Also, in the future, gravity fields have been developed. Dude never
really looked like he was experiencing 1/8 (or whatever it is) Earth
gravity. Not like it would have been much, but even a casual mention
would have helped. I can understand that not filming in the bounce
house probably saved a couple bucks, but still.

My big (shit gets deep here) idea to go along with the theme of
isolation and do clones have rights is how technology branches, but
comes back around to the same result. In essence, Gertie and Sam were
both developed to do similar things, but the processes were completely
different. For as much personality as Gertie had, it wouldn't seem
like a stretch to have made a more mobile version, like maybe a rover
version or something. Having a scene where Gertie and Sam are playing
Chess or something could have advanced the idea in a way that would
seed the audience's mind with the thought they really weren't that
different, so how does that reflect on Sam's value to the company?

Apparently, Moon is the first part of a planned trilogy (really? Does
EVERYTHING have to be a trilogy?), so I am hoping the next movies have
some equally intriguing premises. I think some of the ideas that have
been left in the end of the story have promise (as well as being
interesting allegories for current events, which is arguably the
reason why science fiction got started as a genre), though he way
things seem to be heading do give me pause.

I am sure people who know me (why are you even reading this?) will be
used to me liking something, but shitting all over it in my
discussion, so I will say that it is a good flick despite my
incoherent, 'is English his first language?' writing. Check it out, if
you get a chance. It is more of a cerebral movie that you probably
don't need to see on a screen bigger than your house, but I do think
that a movie like this needs the asses in the seats to put a giant
middle finger to all the remakes and licensed trash that fucking
chokes the summer releases. Hopefully it has pulled in enough that the
other two flicks get made (and they are worth a damn when it is all
said and done).

Final thought: should I be worried that I think three years on the
moon alone to do whatever and work on l'il mans (spoiler) sounds like


  1. Holy crap. A post. A post I can't read because I refuse to let you destroy my desire to see this film!

  2. Only thing better than 90 Minutes of Monkey Farting is 100 Minutes of Monkey Farting!

    Ack(cubed) and I just came back from this one. I liked it. There were a couple choices that puzzled me, but, now that the Stu has enlightened me to the fact that there are follow-ups planned, I'm hoping that reasons for the head-scratching moments will be revealed in the next couple movies.